Our Polyamory & ENM Counselling Services

Step 1: Getting Started with Polyamory & ENM Counselling

Welcome to Your First Connection

Taking the first step toward support for your polyamorous or ethically non-monogamous relationship is an act of courage and care. At Turning Tides Counselling & Life Coaching, we specialise in helping individuals and relationship groups navigate the unique joys and challenges of consensual non-monogamy with compassion and expertise.

Our polyamory and ENM counselling services serving Vancouver, British Columbia and across Canada are designed specifically for people exploring or living within multiple relationship structures. We understand that your relationship deserves support from someone who gets it.

What Happens in Step 1

Your journey begins with an initial conversation. This is your opportunity to share your story, your relationship structure, and what brought you to seek support right now.

The Initial Contact Process

Reach Out

Connect with us through any of these methods:

• Book directly through our online platform at https://www.colib.io/booking/turning-tides-coaching-counselling
• Email us at info@turningtidestoday.com
• Call 778-321-6058 to speak with someone directly
• Message us via WhatsApp for a quick initial conversation

Your Free 20-Minute Consultation

We offer a complimentary 20-minute consultation before you commit to anything. This brief conversation lets us understand your situation and helps you decide if we're the right fit for your needs. There's no obligation, no pressure, just a genuine conversation about what you're looking for.

During this consultation, you might discuss:

• Your relationship structure and who might be involved in counselling
• What specific challenges or goals brought you here
• How you prefer to work (online or in-person)
• Any concerns or questions you have about the process

What to Expect

A Safe, Judgment-Free Space

Kotone Frankowski, a Registered Therapeutic Counsellor, creates an environment where all relationship structures are respected and welcomed. Our approach is informed by trauma research and grounded in the understanding that polyamorous and ENM relationships deserve the same quality of care and attention as any other partnership.

Personalised Attention

Whether you're coming as an individual, a couple, or a relationship group, your unique situation shapes how we work together. We listen to understand your specific dynamics, agreements, communication patterns, and any challenges you're navigating.

Collaborative Planning

At the end of your first session, we'll work together to create a plan that makes sense for you. This includes discussing how often you'd like to meet, whether partners will join sessions, and what you hope to achieve through counselling.

Frequently Asked Questions About Getting Started

Do I need to bring my partner(s) to the first session?

Not necessarily. Some people prefer to start individually to explore their own feelings and goals. Others come as a couple or group from the beginning. We can discuss what feels right for your situation during your consultation.

Is everything I share confidential?

Yes. What you share in counselling is protected by professional confidentiality. The only exceptions are situations involving immediate safety concerns, which we'll discuss openly with you. If multiple partners are involved, we're transparent about what information is shared across sessions.

How long is a typical session?

Standard sessions are 50 minutes. This gives us enough time to explore what's happening and work toward meaningful progress without feeling rushed.

What if I'm nervous about talking to a counsellor?

That's completely normal. Many people feel nervous before their first session. Our role is to help you feel comfortable sharing at your own pace. You're in control of how much you reveal and when.

Can we do sessions online?

Absolutely. Our online counselling services serving all of British Columbia and beyond make it easy to access support from anywhere. We use secure, encrypted platforms to protect your privacy during virtual sessions.

What if I'm not sure what to talk about?

That's okay too. We'll guide the conversation. Whether you're dealing with communication challenges, jealousy, boundary setting, time management across relationships, or healing from past relationship trauma, we'll explore what matters most to you.

How much does counselling cost?

We offer affordable rates for individual and relationship sessions. Pricing details are available when you book or contact us directly. We also work with major insurance providers, and coverage may be available based on your individual policy. A sliding scale option is available for those who need it.

What if I've experienced trauma in past relationships?

Our counselling approach is informed by trauma research and designed to support healing. We understand that past relationship experiences shape how we show up in current partnerships. We work gently and collaboratively to address these patterns.

Do you work with all relationship structures?

Yes. Whether you're exploring polyamory, practising relationship anarchy, navigating open relationships, or any other form of ethical non-monogamy, we're here to support you without judgment.

Our Therapeutic Approach

We use several evidence-based approaches tailored to your needs:

• Internal Family Systems (IFS) to help you understand different parts of yourself and how they show up in relationships
• Somatic approaches that honour how emotions and stress live in your body
• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) to shift unhelpful thought patterns
• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to clarify your values and live aligned with them
• Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) for building emotional regulation and relationship skills

We blend these approaches based on what serves you best.

Insurance and Payment

We accept payment via Mastercard, Visa, and PayPal. Our services are recognised by major insurance providers including Canada Life, Green Shield Canada, Manulife, SunLife, and Pacific Blue Cross. Coverage may be available based on your individual policy. We recommend checking with your provider about your specific benefits.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

Reaching out is the hardest part. Once you do, we'll handle the rest with care and professionalism.

Book your free 20-minute consultation now:

Schedule Your Consultation

Or contact us directly:

• Email: info@turningtidestoday.com
• Phone: 778-321-6058
• Website: www.turningtidestoday.com

A Final Word

Your relationship matters. Your feelings matter. Your journey toward greater understanding, connection, and healing matters. We're honoured to walk alongside you as you explore what's possible in your polyamorous or ENM relationship.

Step 1 is simply saying yes to support. Everything else unfolds from there.

Step 2: Getting to Know You and Setting Your Direction

Welcome to Step 2 of your journey with us. This is where we truly begin to understand your unique situation, your relationship dynamics, and what you hope to achieve through counselling. Think of this phase as the foundation we build together before moving forward with your care.

What Happens in Your First Session

Your first session with us is 50 minutes long and focuses entirely on you. We'll explore your relationship structure, your concerns about polyamory or ethical non-monogamy, and any challenges you're facing. This isn't a clinical interrogation. It's a conversation where you share what matters most, and we listen carefully.

During this time, we'll discuss:

• Your relationship configuration and the agreements you've made with your partners
• What brought you to seek support right now
• Any past experiences that shape how you relate to others
• Your hopes for what counselling can help you achieve
• How you prefer to communicate and what makes you feel safe

The Intake Conversation

We use what we call an intake conversation rather than formal questionnaires. This means we talk together in a natural way. You'll share your story, and we'll ask thoughtful questions to understand the full picture. We're interested in your strengths, your values, and what's worked well for you in the past, not just the challenges you're facing.

For polyamory and ethical non-monogamy counselling specifically, we explore how you navigate multiple relationships, how you communicate boundaries, and how you manage the emotional complexities that come with these relationship structures. We also want to understand your experience with the LGBTQ+ community, kink communities, or other aspects of your identity that matter to you.

Understanding Your Background

Part of our intake includes learning about your emotional history. This helps us understand how your past experiences might influence your current relationships. If you've experienced trauma, grief, or significant life transitions, we want to know because these experiences shape how we show up in our relationships. This information helps us provide care that's informed by an understanding of trauma and its effects.

You're always in control of what you share. There's no pressure to disclose anything you're not ready to talk about. We move at your pace.

What to Bring and How to Prepare

You don't need to bring much to your first session. However, here's a simple checklist to help you prepare:

• A quiet, private space where you can speak freely (whether you're joining us online or meeting in person in Vancouver)
• Your insurance information if you plan to claim your session
• A list of any medications you're currently taking (optional but helpful)
• Pen and paper if you like to jot down notes or questions as we talk
• An open mind and willingness to explore your relationship dynamics with curiosity rather than judgment

If you're joining us online, test your internet connection and audio beforehand. If you're meeting us in Vancouver, plan to arrive a few minutes early so you can settle in comfortably.

How We Explore Your Goals Together

Goal setting isn't something we do to you. It's something we do with you. After we've had time to understand your situation, we'll work together to identify what success looks like for you.

Your goals might include improving communication with your partners, managing jealousy or insecurity, navigating a transition in your relationship structure, or healing from past hurt. Some people come to us wanting to strengthen their existing relationships. Others are exploring polyamory or ethical non-monogamy for the first time and want support as they navigate this path.

We help you articulate these goals clearly so we both know what we're working towards. Good goals are specific, meaningful to you, and achievable with time and effort.

Addressing Common Concerns About This Process

Will you judge me or my relationship choices? No. We work with people from all relationship structures and backgrounds. Our approach is affirming and non-judgmental. Your choices about how you structure your relationships are valid.

What if I'm not sure what I want from counselling yet? That's completely normal. Many people come to us without a clear sense of what they need. That's what this first session is for. We'll help you clarify your thoughts and feelings as we talk.

Will everything I share be confidential? Yes, with very limited exceptions. We keep your information private and secure. The only times we'd break confidentiality are if you're at immediate risk of harming yourself or others, or if there's abuse of a child or vulnerable adult involved. We'll always be transparent about these limits.

What if my partner doesn't want to come to counselling? You can absolutely come alone. Individual sessions help you clarify your own needs and feelings. If your partner is willing to join later, we can incorporate them. Some people find that individual work first actually makes couples work more effective.

How long does this process take? There's no fixed timeline. Some people benefit from a few sessions focused on specific issues. Others work with us over months or longer as they navigate ongoing relationship dynamics. We'll check in regularly about what's working and adjust as needed.

Our Approach to Understanding Your Needs

We use several approaches to understand you more deeply. These aren't tests or clinical assessments. They're tools that help us see the full picture of your life and relationships.

We might explore your communication patterns by asking how you typically handle disagreements. We might discuss your attachment style and how that shows up in your relationships. We might look at your values and whether your current relationship structure aligns with those values. We might explore how you experience emotions like jealousy, insecurity, or joy in your relationships.

All of this information helps us tailor our approach to what you actually need, rather than applying a one-size-fits-all method.

The Therapeutic Approaches We Use

Our counselling draws on several evidence-based approaches, each chosen based on what will help you most. These include Internal Family Systems work, which helps you understand different parts of yourself and how they interact. We use somatic approaches that help you connect with your body's wisdom. We incorporate cognitive and behavioural techniques that help you shift unhelpful patterns. And we use acceptance and commitment therapy, which helps you clarify your values and live in alignment with them.

We also bring a trauma informed perspective to everything we do. This means we understand how past experiences shape present relationships and we create safety and choice in our work together.

Moving Forward After Step 2

By the end of your first session, you'll have a clear sense of what counselling with us looks like. We'll have discussed your goals, answered your questions, and created a plan for your next steps. You'll know what to expect, how often we'll meet, and what the investment looks like.

Most importantly, you'll feel heard and understood. That's the foundation we build on.

Ready to Begin?

If you're ready to take this step, we invite you to book your first session through our online booking platform. You can also reach out to us directly with any questions before you book.

Our polyamory and ethical non-monogamy counselling is available online across British Columbia and internationally, making it accessible whether you're in Vancouver, Victoria, Kelowna, or anywhere else. We're here to support your unique relationship journey.

Step 3: Your Therapy Sessions and Between-Session Support

You've explored your relationship structure and identified your goals. Now comes the heart of the work: your ongoing counselling sessions and the support that happens between them. This step is where real transformation takes place through consistent, collaborative work together.

What to Expect in Your Sessions

Each session lasts 50 minutes and follows a rhythm designed to support your healing and growth. Here's how your time together typically unfolds.

Session Structure

The Therapeutic Approaches We Use

Polyamory and ethical non-monogamy bring their own unique emotional landscape. The approaches we draw from are specifically chosen to support the complexity of your relationships while honouring your values.

• Internal Family Systems (IFS) work helps you understand the different parts of yourself. When you feel jealous, insecure, protective, or excited about your relationships, different parts of you are responding. IFS helps you get to know these parts with compassion and find balance among them.
• Somatic approaches work with your body and nervous system. Polyamorous relationships can activate our nervous system in ways we don't expect. We learn to notice tension, use grounding techniques, and help your body feel safer in moments of uncertainty or emotional intensity.
• Care informed by trauma research recognises that many people in polyamorous relationships have experienced past hurts that affect how they relate now. We work gently with these patterns, understanding how they show up and creating new possibilities for connection.
• Cognitive Behavioural approaches help you examine the thoughts that drive difficult feelings. When you think 'my partner loves them more than me,' that thought creates a cascade of emotion. We explore these thoughts with curiosity, not judgment, and consider what might be more true or helpful.
• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy supports you in clarifying what truly matters to you in your relationships and life, then building choices aligned with those values. This is especially powerful in polyamory, where you're often making unconventional choices that require deep clarity about why.
• Dialectical Behaviour Therapy offers practical skills for managing intense emotions, improving communication, and building distress tolerance. These skills are invaluable when navigating the emotional complexity of multiple relationships.

What Happens Between Sessions

The work doesn't stop when your session ends. Between-session support keeps you connected to your progress and provides resources when you need them.

Post-Session Follow-Up

Within a few days of your session, you'll receive an email summarising the key insights from our time together. This includes the main themes we explored, the approaches we used, and the practices or conversations we identified for you to explore. Having this in writing helps reinforce what you learned and gives you something to reference when you need it.

Email Support Between Sessions

You can reach out via email if something comes up between sessions. This might be a question about a technique we discussed, a request for clarification on something, or simply a need to process something that happened. While this isn't a replacement for your sessions, it helps you feel supported throughout your week.

Access to Resources

You'll receive tailored materials to deepen your understanding of polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, communication, and emotional regulation. These might be articles, worksheets, or reflective prompts designed specifically for the work you're doing. These resources support your learning between sessions and give you concrete tools to practice.

Your Homework and Practices

Meaningful change happens through consistent practice. The homework we identify together is always collaborative and designed to feel manageable alongside your life.

Relationship Mapping and Reflection

You might create a simple map of your relationships, noting the nature of each connection and any agreements you've made. Alongside this, you could keep brief reflections on how things are going. This isn't about judgment. It's about noticing patterns, celebrating what's working, and identifying where you'd like support.

Values and Needs Clarification

We often ask you to write down what matters most to you in your relationships and life. What do you need to feel secure? What brings you joy? What are your boundaries? Putting these into words helps you communicate them more clearly to your partners and reminds you of what you're building toward.

Boundary Setting and Communication Practice

You might practise articulating a boundary or having a difficult conversation before it happens. This could be writing out what you want to say, mentally rehearsing it, or even role-playing it in a session. When you've practised, the actual conversation often feels less overwhelming.

Emotional Regulation Practices

We teach you specific techniques to use when difficult emotions arise. These might be grounding exercises that help you feel present in your body, breathing practices that calm your nervous system, or mindfulness approaches that help you observe your feelings without being overwhelmed by them. You practise these between sessions so they become natural when you need them.

Reflective Journaling

Sometimes we ask you to journal about specific questions or experiences. What triggered jealousy this week? When did you feel most connected to your partners? What communication went well? This reflection deepens your self-awareness and gives us rich material to explore together.

Reading and Learning

Depending on what you're working on, we might recommend specific articles or books about polyamory, communication, or emotional health. Reading these and reflecting on how they relate to your experience supports your learning and often sparks important conversations with your partners.

How We Track Your Progress

Progress in polyamory counselling isn't always linear, and it's not always obvious. We track it in ways that matter to you.

Ongoing Conversations

At the beginning of each session, we naturally check in on what's shifted since we last met. Have the conversations you planned actually happened? How did they go? What did you notice about yourself? These conversations reveal progress that might feel subtle but is deeply meaningful.

Your Own Observations

You're the expert on your own experience. We regularly ask what you've noticed about yourself, your relationships, and your emotional responses. Are you feeling less reactive? More able to communicate what you need? More at peace with your choices? Your own sense of progress is the most important measure.

Relationship Reflections

We might ask you to reflect on how your relationships are evolving. Are your partners noticing changes in how you show up? Are conflicts resolving more smoothly? Is there more trust and understanding? These reflections help you see the real-world impact of the work you're doing.

Emotional Capacity

A key measure of progress is your ability to stay present with difficult emotions without being overwhelmed by them. Can you feel jealousy and still communicate clearly? Can you experience insecurity and remember your partner's love? This growing capacity is profound progress.

Alignment with Your Values

Ultimately, we're tracking whether your relationships and choices feel increasingly aligned with what matters to you. Are you living in a way that feels authentic? Are you making decisions from clarity rather than fear? This alignment is the deepest measure of progress.

Creating Your Personalised Plan

Every person's polyamorous or ethical non-monogamous journey is different. Your counselling plan is built specifically for you.

In your early sessions, we'll explore what you most want to focus on. Is it communication with a specific partner? Managing jealousy or insecurity? Navigating a recent change in your relationship structure? Building confidence in your choices? Understanding past patterns that affect your current relationships? Once we understand your priorities, we shape our work accordingly.

We also discuss frequency. Some people benefit from weekly sessions as they navigate significant changes. Others prefer every other week or monthly sessions once they've built their foundation. We adjust as you progress and your needs shift.

Ready to Begin?

Step 3 is where the real transformation happens. Through consistent sessions, thoughtful practices, and genuine support, you'll develop deeper understanding of yourself and your relationships. You'll build skills that serve you not just in polyamory, but in all areas of your life.

Our polyamory and ethical non-monogamy counselling is available online, making it accessible whether you're in Vancouver or anywhere across British Columbia. Sessions are affordable and may be covered by your insurance, depending on your individual policy.

Ready to move forward with your counselling journey?

Book Your First Session

Our polyamory and ethical non-monogamy counselling serving all of British Columbia through secure online sessions. Registered Therapeutic Counsellor with specialisation in relationship dynamics and trauma informed care.

Step 4: Progress Evaluation & Completion

You've reached a significant milestone in your polyamory and ENM counselling journey. Step 4 focuses on evaluating your progress, recognising your growth, and determining whether you're ready to complete this phase of your work with us. This is also where we discuss how to maintain the positive changes you've made and what ongoing support looks like.

Understanding Your Progress

Throughout your sessions, we've been paying close attention to how you're doing. We notice the shifts in how you communicate with your partners. We see the increased confidence in setting boundaries. We observe the greater ease when navigating complex emotions that once felt overwhelming.

In this step, we take time to reflect together on these changes. We look at where you started and where you are now. This isn't about clinical measurements or formal testing. Instead, we have a genuine conversation about what feels different in your relationships, how you're managing challenges, and whether the goals you set at the beginning are being met.

Signs You May Be Ready for Completion

You might be ready to transition out of regular counselling sessions if you're experiencing several of these indicators:

• You communicate more openly with your partners about needs, boundaries, and concerns
• Difficult emotions like jealousy or insecurity feel more manageable and less controlling
• You have practical tools and strategies that actually work for your specific relationships
• Conflicts arise less frequently, and when they do, you handle them with greater skill
• You feel more aligned with your authentic self and your chosen relationship structure
• You've processed significant past experiences that were affecting your current relationships
• You trust yourself to navigate future challenges with the skills you've developed
• Your relationships feel more stable, honest, and satisfying overall

Readiness looks different for everyone. Some people complete their work in a few months. Others benefit from longer-term support. There's no rush, and there's no 'right' timeline.

The Completion Conversation

When you and Kotone agree that you're ready, you'll have a dedicated session focused entirely on your completion. This conversation includes:

• Acknowledging the specific progress you've made and the courage it took to get here
• Reviewing the tools and strategies that have been most helpful for you
• Discussing what you've learned about yourself and your relationships
• Creating a clear picture of what you want to maintain going forward
• Identifying potential challenges and how you'll handle them independently

This isn't goodbye. It's a transition. You're moving from regular counselling into a phase where you're applying what you've learned on your own, with the knowledge that support is available whenever you need it.

Maintenance Strategies for Long-Term Success

The work you've done in counselling is only valuable if it continues to serve you after sessions end. Here are practical ways to maintain your progress:

Keep Communication Channels Open

The conversations you've learned to have with your partners shouldn't stop. Regular check-ins about how everyone is feeling, what's working, and what needs adjustment become part of your relationship rhythm. Many people find it helpful to schedule these conversations monthly or quarterly, depending on what their relationships need.

Revisit Your Tools When Needed

The strategies you've developed during counselling are there for you to use whenever challenges arise. Whether it's a communication technique, an emotional regulation practice, or a way of thinking about conflict, these tools remain accessible. You might find yourself naturally reaching for them when you need them most.

Notice Patterns and Adjust

As time passes, you'll develop the ability to notice when old patterns are starting to emerge. Maybe you're slipping back into avoiding difficult conversations, or perhaps jealousy is creeping back in. When you notice these shifts, you can gently redirect yourself using what you've learned, or reach out for a session to recalibrate.

Honour Your Growth

Take time to genuinely acknowledge how far you've come. This might mean journalling about your relationships, sharing your progress with trusted friends, or simply pausing to feel grateful for the changes you've made. This recognition reinforces your commitment to maintaining what you've built.

Continue Learning

Growth doesn't stop after counselling ends. You might explore books about polyamory and relationships, join online communities of people living similar relationship structures, or attend workshops focused on communication or emotional health. Learning keeps you engaged and connected to your own development.

Ongoing Support Options

Completion doesn't mean you're on your own forever. Our counselling services in Vancouver and across British Columbia remain available to you in several ways.

Occasional Check-In Sessions

Many people find it helpful to schedule a session every few months or once a year, just to touch base and make sure everything is still on track. These sessions are shorter and more focused than ongoing counselling. They're a chance to celebrate what's working and address anything that's shifted.

Crisis or Challenge Sessions

If a significant challenge arises in your relationships, a major life transition happens, or you're struggling with something that feels bigger than you can handle alone, you can reach out for support. Whether it's a relationship crisis, a new partner joining your network, or unresolved trauma surfacing, we're here to help you navigate it.

Couples or Group Sessions

If you and your partners want to work together on something specific, or if your entire relationship network would benefit from facilitated conversation, we offer couples and group sessions. These can be scheduled as needed, without requiring ongoing individual counselling.

Online Counselling Across British Columbia

Our counselling services serving Vancouver, Burnaby, Surrey, Richmond, Coquitlam, North Vancouver, New Westminster, Langley, Delta, Maple Ridge, Pitt Meadows, Port Moody, and all of British Columbia remain available online. Whether you're in Metro Vancouver, Vancouver Island, the Fraser Valley, the Interior, Northern BC, the Kootenays, or any other region across the province, you can access support from wherever you are.

How to Book Your Next Session

When you're ready to schedule a check-in, address a new challenge, or work through something with your partners, booking is simple and straightforward. You can access our online booking platform at https://www.colib.io/booking/turning-tides-coaching-counselling to find a time that works for you.

If you prefer to reach out directly, you can contact us via email at info@turningtidestoday.com or by phone at 778-321-6058. We're here to support your ongoing journey.

Celebrating Your Achievement

Before you move forward, take a moment to truly acknowledge what you've accomplished. You've invested time and energy into understanding yourself and your relationships more deeply. You've learned new ways of communicating and managing emotions. You've built skills that will serve you for years to come. You've chosen growth, even when it was uncomfortable.

That's significant. That matters.

The relationships you're building and maintaining are stronger because of the work you've done. The partners in your life benefit from your increased self-awareness and emotional skill. Your own sense of peace and authenticity has deepened. These aren't small things.

Moving Forward with Confidence

As you complete this phase of counselling, you're not leaving behind the support you've received. Instead, you're integrating it into who you are and how you live. The insights you've gained, the tools you've developed, and the understanding you've built become part of your foundation.

You have the ability to navigate your polyamorous or ethically non-monogamous relationships with greater skill, honesty, and compassion. You know how to communicate what matters. You understand your own needs and boundaries. You can manage the complex emotions that arise. You can build and maintain relationships that feel authentic and fulfilling.

And if you ever need support again, we're here. Whether it's months or years from now, whether it's a quick check-in or deeper work, our trauma informed counselling services remain available to you.

Thank you for the trust you've placed in this process. Thank you for showing up for yourself and your relationships. Your commitment to growth and healing is inspiring, and we're honoured to have been part of your journey.

Ready to book your completion session or schedule ongoing support? Visit our online booking platform at https://www.colib.io/booking/turning-tides-coaching-counselling today.